Today was the first day in my life that I almost had to stop my car because I could no longer see the road through all my tears.
Sometimes you have this freaking feeling that a day is going to end bad. Today was that kind of day when my feeling didn’t disappoint me. Instead, I was disappointed by a so-called friend of mine. Imagine you haven’t seen a person you used to talk to everyday for a while. And then you hear from that person again. Imagine, you are happy to meet this person and you expect the day to be full of memories of good old times. But then you’re a bit too late at the meeting place because of traffic - but just ten minutes too late and you hope that your friend doesn’t mind. When you arrive, you’re happy that your friend isn’t there yet. Imagine you ask yourself if he/she stucks in traffic too. Imagine how you begin to wait not knowing when he/she will arrive but for sure he/she will. Unfortunately, you don’t have a number to call, just a mail address. After some more mintues you begin to write messages to this address and to other friends who might have the number. Imagine time goes by while you’re still waiting in the cold. Imagine you now wait for almost one hour. And no one comes.
After all, I got the number and called. And because I was ten minutes too late, he/she already left. I began to ask myself if he/she was really there at all. I don’t think he/she was. So I went home - confused and lonely at the same time. I expected the day to be so special, because it was a special date for us. But now it’s nothing more than a day I absolutely want to forget. When someone has such a short deadline, then this person wasn’t interested in meeting at all.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first time that a person I haven’t seen for so long bails on me. But it was probably the worst time. Now I really ask myself if it’s my fault - if I’m not meant to keep up with old friends, if it’s so easy to forget me? I am really afraid of losing the people that are close to me now. I really hope they turn out to be different and I turn out to try everything to don’t let this happen again.